Been there, done it!
No not me this time! This is from a bride called Savy, who I met on the very awesome Rock ‘n Roll Bride group on Facebook recently. If you lean toward things a little more alternative, then this is well worth checking out. It’s run by an awesome woman called Kat Williams.
Anyway, after having her own awesome wedding, Savy felt she wanted to offer some advice to other brides….and its GOOD advice. So, get comfortable and read on! What follows below if from Savy herself…!
“We are married!!!”
And it was everything we asked for! Fire performer, belly dancers, a parade, and 300 pounds of meat!
Some reflections and advice for brides to be:
1. You’re not gonna please everybody. It’s not possible.
You’re throwing a party for 100 people; not everyone will be perfectly satisfied. We both love meat, so we had a cook that specialised in meat dishes. We did not cater to everyone’s preferences, in food nor decor, nor venue, nor child situation. Eventually, NO is the best thing that ever came out of my mouth. And nobody dared challenge.
The good news is, the only two people it matters that are satisfied, are you and your husband to be.
2. Some things don’t matter.
People go crazy about matching this and that, it has to be the PERFECT shade, upset because shoes are beige not ecru….in the end, it doesn’t matter. The whole picture will look beautiful!
3. People go crazy around wedding time.
I’m talking family, friends, people that want to do this, demand that, or bail out on you when you need them the most. I was disappointed that some of the people I truly expected there did not show, and for a while it really hurt my feelings. But the people that DID come gave 100% love, and I no longer focused on those that bailed out on wedding prep and bachelorette party.
Also, guests do ask some dumb questions. I used to get annoyed, then I realised it was because they wanted to make sure my day was perfect, and they didn’t want to accidentally ruin it. Once I saw it that way, it was sweet.
4. Ask your spouse to do stuff!
If you’re an ‘A personality’ (like myself) you wanna do everything yourself to make sure its done right. Eventually, it becomes exhausting watching him sit on his ass. When we talked about it, he states he stepped back because he didn’t want to get in the way of my vision. I finally split up jobs and gave half the list. And he NAILED it. Everything he took care of was perfect.
Also, don’t harass him every 3 days if they’re done yet. Make a list, pass it off, and do the things you want a special hand in. Your ‘h2b’ (husband to be) will deliver. You’re trusting this guy with the rest of your life…you should be able to trust him helping you plan a party.
5. Don’t spend money on things that will get thrown away.
We had a gorgeous wedding cutting costs that way. Centrepieces were tins from canned corn stuffed with wildflowers from the farm. Personalised cups, cake cutters, glasses and napkins are cute–but what happens after?
They either grow dust on your shelf or get trashed after use. We didn’t purchase anything that we are couldn’t reuse.
6. DO spend money on a good photographer.
These pictures will last you and your children and grandchildren the rest of your life…you will miss seeing a lot during the day. Thank goodness for photos.
7. Enjoy the process!
Perfection is the opposite of complete. That is, you spend so much time making this damned project perfect, you aren’t getting them DONE. Finish, the project, then, if time permits, tweak it later to perfect it.
8. Something WILL go wrong.
In my flurry, i completely forgot to assign someone the task of grabbing the wedding cakes from the fridge. Oops. We laughed it off, and danced to another song while someone ran to grab them. No sweat!
9. Don’t invite anyone you wouldn’t want to hang out at your house for dinner.
This includes FAMILY, coworkers, friends you’ve known a long time. You are NOT obligated to invited anyone, especially toxic people. The way i thought of it was– would i pay to for this person to have an expensive meal at a restaurant with me?
You don’t owe anyone anything.
10. You did it!
You’ve found someone to spend the rest of your days with. Thats a miracle in itself! Many spend their entire lives looking for love and you’re already there!
Enjoy the rest of your planning!
Once again, a massive thank you to Savy for her great advice! Take it onboard and have yourself a great and special day!
All the best,